IJK 406 (IA) 01/21/24 11:16 PM

Hey douchbag the speed limit on Hubbell is not 65 MPH. Three times you recklessly cut me off. Keep an eye over your shoulder I'm going to have a word with you worthless punk.
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UTT 9225 (VA) 01/21/24 10:48 PM

Drives very dangerously and aggressively in bad weather. Rolls down his window so he can yell at people on the street. An all around asshole.
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SRL 4143 (TX) 01/14/24 8:31 PM

I observed the vehicle accelerating to a high rate of speed, then making a reckless lane change into a turn lane that ended, forcing the car onto the grass median and losing control. The vehicle then re-entered the roadway and proceeded to continue on at a high rate of speed. The incident occurred on Independence Pkwy going southbound past Rolater Rd.
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LPP 1483 (PA) 01/19/24 2:52 AM

Mercedes that brake checks you and flashes if you dare be in their lane, while there’s below freezing temperatures. Your plate was called into the state police, sorry [l]ittle[p] [p]
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91A1HM (AZ) 01/18/24 4:24 AM

nigger
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U18 9EG (UT) 01/17/24 6:07 AM

B got no dick
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BNL 2934 (TX) 01/10/24 3:25 AM

You want a car that gets the job done? You want a car that's hassle free? You want a car that literally no one will ever compliment you on? Well look no further.

The 1999 Toyota Corolla.

Let's talk about features.
Bluetooth: nope
Sunroof: nope
Fancy wheels: nope
Rear view camera: nope...but it's got a transparent rear window and you have a fucking neck that can turn.

Let me tell you a story. One day my Corolla started making a strange sound. I didn't give a shit and ignored it. It went away. The End.

You could take the engine out of this car, drop it off the Golden Gate Bridge, fish it out of the water a thousand years later, put it in the trunk of the car, fill the gas tank up with Nutella, turn the key, and this puppy would fucking start right up.

This car will outlive you, it will outlive your children.

Things this car is old enough to do:
Vote: yes
Consent to sex: yes
Rent a car: it IS a car

This car's got history. It's seen some shit. People have done straight things in this car. People have done gay things in this car. It's not going to judge you like a fucking Volkswagen would.

Interesting facts:
This car's exterior color is gray, but it's interior color is grey.
In the owner's manual, oil is listed as "optional."
When this car was unveiled at the 1998 Detroit Auto Show, it caused all 2,000 attendees to spontaneously yawn. The resulting abrupt change in air pressure inside the building caused a partial collapse of the roof. Four people died. The event is chronicled in the documentary "Bored to Death: The Story of the 1999 Toyota Corolla"

You wanna know more? Great, I had my car fill out a Facebook survey.
Favorite food: spaghetti
Favorite tv show: Alf
Favorite band: tie between Bush and the Gin Blossoms

This car is as practical as a Roth IRA. It's as middle-of-the-road as your grandpa during his last Silver Alert. It's as utilitarian as a member of a church whose scripture is based entirely on water bills.

When I ran the CarFax for this car, I got back a single piece of paper that said, "It's a Corolla. It's fine."

Let's face the facts, this car isn't going to win any beauty contests, but neither are you. Stop lying to yourself and stop lying to your wife. This isn't the car you want, it's the car you deserve: The fucking 1999 Toyota Corolla.
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(WA) 01/17/24 1:51 AM

slow car
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5GLV693 (CA) 01/16/24 5:19 PM

Driver does not signal
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9DMN028 (CA) 01/15/24 9:18 PM

Driver doesn't signal and runs through stop signs
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